In these trying times, I thought some of you who have been tired of ranked posts on /r/Valorant would enjoy some satire.

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I'm a [insert rank] player and this new ranked system is absolutely broken. I just went [slightly above average KDA] in my game as [insert Reyna], but I lost [reasonable amount of RR]. How is that fair? It makes no sense to lose rating when you are obviously the best player in the lobby. I totally didn't know about this prior to playing and it's especially not written in section "How does Valorant Ranked Rating (RR) Work?" of Riot's article. Here's a link to my game [link that doesn't fully show game stats but shows you lost by 5+ rounds].

Not only that, but there are AFK's EVERYWHERE. How am I supposed to climb when my games have almost half the people leaving? No one else in [insert rank] experiences AFK's and since they are only in my games, it's totally unfair. Why doesn't Riot implement a way to prevent loss when you have an AFK? I think [random conspiracy about how AFK's make people buy skins, instead of reasonable criticism as to why Riot hasn't added it].

[One single line of actually good feedback as to why the ranked system is bad right now]

Why is absolutely no one, especially not any of 15 posts prior to mine, talking about this??

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PS. Why did I skip ranks? Why can't I play competitive right now because it says I need to play unrated games? Why did they cap the placements at plat 3? Do you want to see my video of me going underneath the practice range as Yoru?