This probably won’t get any attention but I feel like it will help to get it off my chest. Over the past few months I’ve noticed something that happens every time I play this game. I get really, really angry. I constantly feel that my teammates can’t do anything right and play like idiots. I top frag in a large percentage of my games and yet consistently derank.

I think the problem is me. I’ve realized that I start every game in a good mood and the moment there’s any indication of us losing, I become enraged at everything my teammates do and become super toxic. I’m not sure if it’s just this game or if it’s because of something else. Maybe my out-of-game, real life stress is manifesting into rage when I play this game and I’m looking for other people to take it out on. I’m not really sure. I love this game and everything about it, but it brings out a side of me that I don’t show anywhere else.

Hopefully I can get to a better place in life and start enjoying this game again.