Today i unfriended my valorant friends, these were my classmates and my discord mates. I left them because i couldn't take it anymore they were playing with some other of my classmates and they were in a comp match so i played spikerush so that i can wait for them while not getting bored, but i accidentally played one more game while they just finished so i asked them to wait a bit, and relax and i told them to play spikerush for a bit so i can join, they didn't wait, they queued for another comp. This is not the first time they did this, sometimes they wont even let me join so that some other guy can join them, now i considered these guys as my friends especially in this pandemic there's nobody else i can really talk to or socialize so they were the only ones i talked to and i loved it honestly, we had a lot of great times and they were genuinely fun to be around but i dont think they see me that way im expendable to them, tradable for another guy they prefer and this happened to me so many times already and i always tell myself that they actually care about me i mean i am considered the class clown and i can make them laugh easily and it makes me happy to see them happy, but i just cant with them anymore, as far as im concerned I've been a good friend and they didn't care about it, we had so many funny moments great times really but everytime shit like this happens it makes me sick, i genuinely feel like garbage like im fucking nothing to them, like im just some random person you meet in Unrated have a little chat finish the match then discard them afterwards fuck that, im tired of feeling like garbage when i try my best everytime to be a good friend. So i said fuck it, these guys made me laugh just as much as they made me feel like trash and I just cant anymore im sorry but i want to feel like i deserve better, i want to feel like someone needs me and that im not just some random person online. I want to be needed just as much as i need them but they dont care about me. Im just like a clown in a carnival, they only care about me when they need someone to make them laugh. im just done.