I’m continuing this dumb joke series! Been a while since I’ve done one of these. You can find the start of this series here. To find the rest, I guess you can sift through my profile and piece together what kind of person I am while scrolling down.

Obligatory disclaimer: I’m a low elo dumbass and everything I say shouldn’t be taken as gospel.

Reyna is literally “shoot first, ask questions later.” Most of her abilities only work after killing someone. You see, when Reyna takes part in the murder of a person, she can devour their soul like some morbid version of Kirby. I wonder what happens in lore if Reyna devours someone’s soul and Sage then revives that person. Are they soulless? Is their soul taken away from Reyna? Have I severely misunderstood how Reyna works and will make an extra crappy guide? Who knows.

Dismiss: This is the “fuck this shit I’m out” button. Reyna kills someone and mashes E as hard as she can to avoid imminent death herself. She basically becomes intangible for a few seconds which lets her dodge anything, whether it be bullets, a missile, or a giant taser dome. It also gives her a brief burst of speed which wears off quickly. Simply use dismiss when you want to prolong your life by a few seconds before you instantly peek again and get destroyed.

Devour: “Reyna killed me, but I hit her for 120, she’s one-shot.” In most situations, this is not something you should say. Because either your team was there to force Reyna to use dismiss and you don’t have to tell them that she’s low, or because you went in alone, got killed, and gave Reyna a delightful 100 hp healing snack (now with overheal and gluten-free). You can’t whittle away a Reyna. Use devour when there is no imminent danger, but you are close to death from your bullet allergy. Also, something that nobody talks about is that devour reveals where you are with its long soul spaghetti. Any surprise position you had before loses its surprise.

Leer: Manifest an eye of Sauron floating in the air, causing your foes to tremble in fear and blind them. However, unlike Frodo, your foes have guns and will shoot the eye, prematurely ending its effect. This blind is arguably the worst blind in the game because for other blinds, you have to react instantly to negate their effect, but for leer, you just have to react faster than Reyna can peek in order to dispel the blind. Still, this big eye can move your enemies’ eyes away from your eyes, and then you can put a bullet between their eyes if they’re looking at your leer.

Empress: Believe in the power of grape skittles and become fully purple with glowing white eyes. You become almost impossible to trade, for after every kill, you heal and can use their soul orb to become invisible and invincible for a short duration. All you have to do is get a kill, dismiss, check for more enemies, undismiss, rinse and repeat. Ok, if you’re a Reyna main, look away now! (Ok guys, best way to counter an ulted Reyna is to, well, run away. Be a coward. Hold super tight angles from far away if you must, but the safest option is to let the ult run out. Or you can just use a shotgun in a niche corner, that works sometimes.) Ok you can come back now :).

Moral of the story: As long as you can aim, Reyna will slaughter them all.