Well i never bought anything in valorant (battle pass, skins ...etc) i just like the brimstone animation after the last kill does it take too long to appear . Is this vandal actually worth it (beside the rarity)

I'm a girl and I really like this game. But somehow I can't bring myself to play it because I'm so scared of judgement. Everytime I play standard, I start shaking and will start panicking which will lead to me eventually exiting the match....