I don’t play ranked. I’m an unrated warrior. I’m kind of traumatized by csgo ranked. It’s fun, but it can also be incredibly unfun. All of my friends play ranked and they don’t like to mess around in unrated. I really enjoy this game and I don’t really care how good or bad I am compared to the community. I’m 26, and have other things to worry about, I’m never gonna be a pro, I can only have fun with what I’m doing.

Anyway, my friends are all trying to get me to play ranked in bronze/silver but my main has too high of an MMR to play with them in ranked. I can assume I’m in plat/gold territory.

I make a smurf to play with them but I’m not blatantly smurfing. I’m picking support characters and just playing passive and helping my friends take site, etc. im not playing for kills, I’m just playing. I get placed bronze 3 and after a few games I’m in silver territory.

As I’m not trying to become the best player in the world, I had an idea. My state just made weed legal and I like to smoke occasionally. I figured I can turn this account into a project account.

The plan: see how far I can get this smurf while completely stoned in a week while mostly solo q

The rules: smoke before every pistol round. Fill agents. Comm to my teammates even if no one is talking to me.

The result since: plat 1 in a week.

The data: ranks are horribly placed currently. I was in my silver 2 games playing against diamond act 3 ranked players just absolutely smacking them around. I would gain 23-28 a win and -20 to -26 a loss. My worst teammates were always the duelists. (Why do people just lock in 3?) I think elo hell exists between s3-plat1

The evidence backing the elo hell claim: not many people use utility. I see a lot of duelists but not a lot of dueling. Omens forget their smokes come back. Brims use all their smokes off the start of a round. Phoenixs never call flashes. Sovas forget they have abilities in general. Every Reyna belongs in radiant. Yoru players are just..... idk. Pick anyone else. Sages always Rez to bait. No one defaults. Everyone rotates super early and gives up map control.

I’ve also met a ton of toxic players who were getting tilted after being down 0-2 and flaming the entire team/leaving. Idk how any sane person could actually climb out of this elo. I had to get stoned so I wouldn’t get annoyed with the people I was matched with. I didn’t win every game, but I enjoyed myself. I’m looking to do the exact same thing on my main account so I can use my damn skins and stream the entire thing.

Conclusion: ranked is a scattered mess. I feel like everyone is getting upset because they were diamond last season and got placed in gold1 now having to play with actual golds is tilting because I feel like gold and lower don’t understand ability synergy/team comps.

Tips: take a break from ranked if it’s so bad for you and play some different agents in unrated. That will expand your agent pool. If you’re a Reyna one trick and someone picks Reyna, you should use that aim to your advantage and play a lurking character like cypher/omen to help set your team up, bait your teammates and play post plant because your kit is epic for post plant.

Everyone should learn smokes. I don’t care how boring you think it is, it’s a team game. Omen has such a good kit as a flex character.

If you’re lurking you better be comming.

watch that minimap. Make sure you can see most of the map and get used to glancing at it throughout rounds. Kinda like when you’re driving and your eyes are on the road but you still have to watch your mirrors and your speed. It’ll help when no one has a mic. Also helps spot enemies if your teammate sees one and you’re behind a smoke. Just try to ping the ? Or character on the map and just start shooting.

I’m curious to see where my main rank will take me. I’m going to actually play ranked on my main and make it a goal to climb.

TLDR: Ranked is joke with no punchline. Learn different agents if you think your randoms are the reason you’re hard stuck. Use mics. Take a break if you need to. And remember to have fun :)

Sorry for poor formatting I rarely post and I’m on mobile

Update: just went 5/5 against diamond/High plat winning by a landslide and got placed gold 2