Guys I swear to god I bought a silly looking gun skin for a show I liked. I swear some of y’all would dip a baby in chick-fil-a sauce and devour it whole for a chance to play one round with the skin. Do you know the amount of feet pics I have been offered already? Are you aware that you would just be one more kitten added to my collection, all of which I have to feed Arcane skins constantly to keep happy?

I swear I’m shivering and crying in my sleep at night. The nightmares. The Reynas saying they’ll ace only they have a chance to put their sweaty hands upon my skin. The Pheonixs who’ll throw if they don’t. The Chambers who recite my IP address with perfect accuracy. The Omens who say they’re in my closet (or maybe the closet. Don’t worry Omen I’ll support you with my life, but get the hell off my skin).

Once I dropped the skin off of the ledge as a joke. I thought it’d be funny. I thought we were all joking around. No. I got kicked from the match from a riot dev. With a message. Not in game, but written in blood on my computer screen,

“Do that shit again, and I’ll make you play with a bulldog every match for all of eternity.”

The horror. I wasn’t going to ever even think about using a bulldog, I’d rather be hung from my balls than use it for the rest of my days.

I would wish to end this post on a positive note, but I can’t. To this day, I still hear the shorties being sacrificed, as others try to please me. This is my last post I’ll ever make before I’m swallowed by ravenous Arcane enjoyers. Goodbye cruel world